I have just returned from one year in the field, the ethnographer at the finish of a long distance journey. As the miles went by I had nothing but time to reflect, 'thinking so much while I'm running' (Sillitoe, 1959, p.10). For an entire year of my doctoral research I was embedded in a local high school. My methodology was critical. I was an agent of change as much as a social scientist. I aimed to help a school in New Zealand improve its practice towards students with disabilities, and hopefully make the school a better place for all students. This challenged and threatened some. At times I angered people. At times I caused dissonance. This dissonance or anger may have allowed for the examination of values and beliefs, but I often left 'the field' feeling far from elated. While being welcomed with open arms, I remained for the year an outsider on the inside. I was always the guest sleeping on the couch. Participants became friends, and strong relationships were formed, but the distance caused by being the researcher was always present. It was at times a lonely journey. But loneliness is sometimes a necessary part of journeys. My journey is told through the use of vignettes, four hundred word images capturing a researcher coming to terms with the ethics of his trade.